Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parent. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

Discipline and Holy Fear



Parenting is an enormous responsibility and challenge.

On a friend’s Facebook page, she has expressed the frightening experience of having her child hide from her at bath time.  The little boy determined to go outside and hide rather than to join with his little sister for their bath.

Mommy is indeed acting rationally concerning her fear in this regard.  Such disobedience in a child is a frightening thing.  Without a child’s unwavering obedience, no parent is able to provide protection for one’s child.  Obedience is absolutely necessary in the parent and child relationship.  This obedience must be instilled in the child through careful discipline or discipling.  This requires the parent to act very sternly and powerfully, actions that are emotionally difficult to govern with consistency.   But parents are not the child’s peer, nor even buddy.  Parents are the overlords of their children, appointed so by the Father of all, for the good of all.

In the case of my friend, I fear that she may have done as many mommies do.  She very likely has played hide and seek with her young child.  This is a very dangerous game for a parent to play, a game that teaches the child not to obey the voice of the parent when the parent calls.  As fun and innocent as this game and many others may seem, they are not proper for parents in which to engage with their children.  Parenting is an all encompassing responsibility, one which requires the parent to assume the overlord authority at all times, even in play times.

My father understood this, and was often criticized for his wise fatherly actions.  He was not without fault, but he did understand the role of fatherhood and overall was a very good and effective as well as loving father.

I am the firstborn, so my parents were learning much with my arrival under their care.  Two experiences are very powerfully ingrained in my memory.

One is when I was very young, I determined that I would visit Grandpa and Grandma Siems, who lived a quarter mile through the woods.  So off I went, without a thought of my mother’s frantic response.  I climbed onto my little tricycle with its 12 inch drive wheel and 4 inch rear wheels and began to make my way through the sugar sand and palmettos and briars and rattlesnakes to my grandparents’ house.  I do not remember how many hours this took me.

When Mom finally arrived she was frantic.  I do not know whether they called her or even how long I was gone.  Mom was both frantic and furious, as I remember.  But I had not yet been disciplined in the way of informing my mom and asking permission for such ventures.  I remember Grandma coming to my defense till Mom calmed down.  For I had not been deliberately disobedient.  I simply had not yet been properly discipled.  This was a learning experience for us all, and I am sure that I received intense instruction after this, though I don’t really remember that part.

What I do know for certain is that the 4th Commandment, “Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.” is deep seated in my personhood.  I also know that this was not driven into me, but was born in me so that it fills me as it flows from the first three commandments.  True fear, love, and trust in God is the beginning of all right understanding for life.  True honor of parents cannot be taught apart from this.  The mechanics of the Fourth Commandment can be effected without fear, love, and trust in God, but not the natural flow of true and genuine honor of parents.

The other experience that I remember, not so much from my own remembrance, but because it was told to me several times, is the time that I encountered a nine foot diamond back rattlesnake as a toddler.  This huge viper was slithering after a covey of quail in the front yard when I saw it and began toddling toward it saying “Pretty snake.  Pretty snake.”

Grandpa and Grandma Heumann, Aunt Esther, and Mom were all yelling “No Paul.  Stop!  Come back!”  When Dad heard the commotion, he came running, and flying out the front door he yelled, “Paul!  HOT!”  Upon hearing this I immediately turned and came back to the safety of my loving overlords.

Some time previously, Dad had astonished the rest of the family by teaching me to fear the electric stove.  He placed his hand on the burner, turned the knob to warm and waited for it to become uncomfortable, took my little hand and placed it on the burner crying, “HOT!”  The others thought this to be terrible, but he wanted his little boy to be safe.  He wanted his little boy to stay away from anything that was declared to be HOT.

I share this to demonstrate that true love does not always bear the outward appearance that people expect.  True love sometimes appears hard and harsh and intolerant.  True parenting requires wisdom in knowing what true love demands.

The best way for parents to learn this is to observe the one who Himself is Love, the Father of all.  He has provided for us a written accounting of His interaction with His children.  He has given us this so that we may know Him as our loving Father, and so that we may learn from Him the form that true love takes.

We have the complication of our sinfulness that interferes with this understanding and blurs our perspective.  Thus we always must hold our actions to the accounting of the Commandments, by which we see where we fall short and need to have our ways amended.  But even the Commandments fall short in that they only show us what should be, as they show us how God is as the one who is truly holy and righteous.  The Commandments cannot be taken as stand alone directives.  They must be understood in the light of the Gospel, which shows how God gives the Commandments for our instruction, but also shows that He is the one who fulfills all righteousness for us.  He does not demand that we make ourselves righteous through striving to obey the Commandments.  Rather, He makes us righteous as He joins us to the merits of Jesus, who has fulfilled all righteousness on our behalf.  He applies this to us through Baptism and the Holy Supper.  There we encounter His righteousness and are made to be partakers of Him and His righteousness.

This is what parents need to realize about the responsibilities that God has given to them.  They are to do similarly to their loving Father.  They are to live the sanctified life of their baptism so that their children receive this as their own.  As the parents fear, love, and trust in God and live lives that flow from this, so their children do also.  They learn God’s love through the loving actions and lordship of their parents.


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Thursday, February 07, 2013

Who’s Your Daddy?

     Wow!

     I’m just here to support the president of the United States. The president of the United States is, you know, our boss. But he’s also, you know, the president and the first lady are kind of like the mom and the dad of the country. And when your dad says something, you listen. And when you don’t, it usually bites you in the ass later on. So, I’m here to support the president.

     Wow! I wonder whether this was meant as a joke. After all, Mr. Rock is a professional jokester who will say or do anything for a laugh.

     Having observed the decline in societal ability to think, however, it seems that he may be serious. For the last hundred years Americans have accepted more and more spoon-fed doctrine from the media, Hollywood, government and so-called education.

     This is actually a very easy sell. The most effective deceptions are those that mimic the truth the most closely.

     Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. (Ephesians 6:2-3)

     From this all authority flows. This is the natural order, ordained by the Lord God from the very beginning. This law, this truth, is written on our hearts and in our consciences. It is taught to us by our generation into this world. It is taught from our conception, gestation, parturition, and rearing. We come into this world by the coming together of our father and mother. We are brought forth into the world entirely dependent upon them for everything. Honoring them is the natural response. In honoring them, we ourselves are blessed. In honoring them we are kept safe by their protection and care and instruction. In honoring them, we are properly fed and clothed and housed. In honoring them, we learn what is good for us. These are undeniable facts, even when the parents are not all that they should be. Even when parents are abusive and evil, many of the blessings that accompany honoring them still manifest themselves.

     So it seems that Mr. Rock is actually right. The President is our boss and the president and his wife are like our dad and mom. It is indeed meet, right, and salutary that we honor them.

     It is sad that very often the full declaration of the Fourth Commandment is not embraced.

     Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
     And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
(Ephesians 6:2-4)

     Parents and those in authority are not to forget the one from whom this special honor is entrusted. They are not to act as though this authority were theirs for their own purposes or glory. Parents and those in authority are given this authority from above. They are specially designated servants of their Father, to rule according to His will for the sake of His family.

     When parents and those in authority forget this, their actions do indeed provoke the children to wrath. Where the love of God is not acknowledged as the source of all good, parents and rulers become abusive of their power and those under their rule eventually rebel. Neither the abuse of power nor the rebelling is good. Neither is of God and His gracious will.

     From the beginning all things were created good. Life was peaceful and harmonious. But the devil tried to raise himself above God and thereby cast away from himself the love of God. Lucifer cut himself off from the good and gracious will of God and led a rebellion in a vain attempt to make himself God. The stupidity of such an attempt is astounding, to think that the creature would seek to overthrow the Creator.

     Once the rule of God’s love was lost to Lucifer, he acted according to his self-made image. He acted hatefully and deceitfully, seeking to overthrow and destroy everything that God had created. Adam fell for the temptation, but the Lord came calling him back into the life of grace with the confrontation of his sinful choice and the promise of the Seed of Woman who would crush the hateful head/ruler of the serpent.

     With this promise, stated as a condemnation of the serpent and its head, flowed the further promise of restoration of the family order. Woman was promised that despite her usurpation of her husband’s rule that she would be moved toward him again so that he would rule over her and that together they would be God’s instruments of life through the promised Seed. Adam was promised that the ground from which he was made would resist his efforts so that he would be continually called to turn from his own efforts and choices to trust the Lord and His Word.

     For those who trusted in the Lord and clung to His Word and promise, no other rule was necessary. It was always the refusal to trust the Lord that led people to appoint rulers for themselves to whom they would be subjected. The chosen people of Israel had only the rule of the Word, taught through their parents, until they chose not to trust the Lord and to demand to be subjected to a king like the other nations had chosen for themselves.

     In the Church, however, we see the Lord’s order restored. In the Church there is only the servant/slave of the Word ordained over the families. This slave is called shepherd, or pastor, or elder, or presbyter/over-seer. His rule over the Lord’s household is strictly defined as the pure preaching and administration of the Word and the Sacraments. From this all the families are restored to the life of grace, mercy, and peace in which parents are honored and obeyed and children are brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

     At Pentecost this was manifested with the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and the conversion of at least 3000 souls. The life in which they shared was a beautiful manifestation of God’s gracious rule amongst His saints. And in every place where the Lord rules through His means of grace, this is the result. It is true today just as it was then.

     Sadly though, it is a rare occurrence today. As with the people of Israel, those professing to be the Church often do not trust the Lord to rule through His means of grace and so they begin to subject themselves to rulers of their own choice. In every case tyranny is the result. The people turn from the Lord and what He has ordained and bind themselves to various forms of tyranny with such devotion that they endure terrible things as if they were necessary. It is as James warns in James 4 and James 5.

     Those who trust in the Lord and walk in His ways do not appoint earthly rulers for themselves. Rather, they subject themselves to the rulers whom the Lord raises up over them. First He gives them parents. Secondly He gives them pastors. He also gives them rulers whom the rebellious have raised up in their rebellion. The saints subject themselves to such rulers for the sake of good order, obeying in all things which do not demand sinful acts on their own part. Wherever the rulers demand what is wrong, the saints peacefully disregard the tyrannical orders and suffer the abuses that result.

     And so Mr. Rock is right, regardless of whether or not he knows why. But does this mean that the president should be supported in disobeying the authority under which he is subjected? When he is placed with an oath to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States of America, is he to be supported when he willfully disobeys the authority under which he is placed?

     The American people have squandered the power given to them to hold such unlawful rulers in check. They have chosen to squander their votes, voting for the lesser of two evils. They have worshiped their false security of the promise of pensions and Social Security checks and voted according to their idolatry. They have voted for a woman’s right to choose death rather than voting to defend life for all. They have voted to support our soldiers, even when the military was being used for wicked and evil agendas. They have voted with selfish and irresponsible motives and so they have elected selfish and irresponsible and even wicked rulers.

     Now they cry out and wonder how this could happen, and worse, many say that they are thankful that the consequences will come after they have departed from this world without genuine care for those who will be left to endure the consequences. What sort of parents and grandparents would speak with such selfish and wicked disregard for their responsibilities? Mr. Rock stood and said that he supports Obama in violating the Constitution. Is this not what the passing generation has done as well? Have they not ignored their responsibilities concerning the younger generations? Those who fear, love, and trust in God above all things do not act in this way. They love their neighbors as themselves. They honor father and mother and they display this honor as loving fathers and mothers. They endure abuse while speaking out for what is right and true and calling for right treatment of their families and neighbors.

     Oh that people understood the holiness of the Lord that is taught to us in the Ten Commandments. Then we would not have wars and rumors of wars but we would fall together on our knees confessing our need for remission of our sins and reconciliation to God and one another. No one who bows the knees and head to God as Father and Redeemer and Savior and Justifier and Sanctifier rises up rebelliously to murder and make war. Rather, the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guards their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus forevermore. Where peace rules honor is displayed toward all.

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Saturday, February 04, 2012

Psychiatry vs Personal Well Being and Growth

In the post two posts below, ADHD is addressed among other issues.

I have encountered people who have genuine neurological disorders, and ADHD, or at least something similar, is certainly among them. There are people who have problems with proper functioning of their neural pathways.

Sadly, as in the one link that I labeled as an ADHD joke, ADHD and the Brain: An Inside Look, horribly false statements are made. Amazingly, the three things that are listed by this pharmaceutical advertisement as being myths, are actually the things that have been scientifically proven. The one of greatest concern is the nutritional or dietetic contributor.

Two food additives that have been proven to be what are called excitotoxins are very powerfully destructive to the proper development of the neural pathways especially during the periods of gestational and early childhood development. At these critical stages of development, these neurotoxins can and often do cause permanent and irreversible damage.

The two neurotoxins are processed glutamic acid and aspartic acid, often commonly called MSG/glutamates and Aspartame. While these are not the only contributors to neurological disorders, they are documented and prevalent. Yet the mainstream medical professionals not only do not warn people, but actually deny their destructive effects. They actually lie, as in the video, saying that the causes are not known. Then, they prescribe other harmful drugs.

Thankfully there are health care professionals and researchers who are reporting these things. Many of the incidences of “mental disorders” can be prevented through avoidance of these toxins in the diet.

Amazingly, the other factors that the video farcically dismisses as myths are actually validated by what is later stated as part of proper treatment for ADHD. Consider the four things listed:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Individual therapy
  • Group therapy
Now compare this list to the list of so-called myths:
  • “ADHD isn’t ‘real’ and it’s often blown out of proportion”
  • “ADHD is caused by a poor diet or too much television”
  • “ADHD is caused by poor schooling or poor parenting”

Do you see the fallacious presentation and misrepresentation? First, they combined ‘blown out of proportion’ with ‘isn’t real’ so as to present the two as both being false presumptions. However, they are not at all the same. The one is factual.

The second so-called myth actually has two factual items listed together in a way that they seem to cancel one another.

The third is presented in a way to anger teachers and parents into feeling defensive.

Yet their four approved methods of treatment all assume that teaching behavior modification and counseling and encouragement (which all belong to the role of parenting and teaching and are often overridden by too much TV and video games and Internet and texting) are the missing factors that are in need of being supplied.

Then, they add that stimulants can be helpful, and especially prescription stimulants. They may as well be promoting caffeine and nicotine. Those would actually be safer and less expensive!

But the last thing that they want to do is to tell people about the food additives that are flooding their foods and beverages.

And naturally they do not want anyone to think that the ADHD diagnoses are in any way blown out of proportion and often entirely wrong. Then parents and teachers might actually encourage these energetic youngsters to put their excitement and energy to something productive. The kids might actually be encouraged to investigate what special inborn talents and skills and aptitudes are driving their “hyperactivity” and eagerness to find more stimulating studies and activities.

Oh, they might even be led to discover that they enjoy learning, if they were given some encouragement to see how their aptitudes could be applied in real life applications.

Oh no!

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