Not OK, for You, Man

Yesterday produced various reports of a domestic incident in Darien, CT.  According to police, a family fight ensued between CBS news personalities Robert and Ashley Morrison.  Ashley’s mother called the police to report the incident.  The police found red marks on Ashley’s neck and arrested her husband for felony strangulation.

Here is Robert’s mug shot:



While the various reports all mention that upon arrival the police found Robert’s face bloodied, not a single word is mentioned in any of the news reports concerning how this occurred.

How did Robert receive these injuries?

In the elevated family fracas, who first acted with violence against the other?

How can it be that with two people suffering injuries that only one is charged with violence?

In the film, Joe Somebody, Joe and his girlfriend, Meg, have an argument where she gives him an ultimatum regarding his plan to do something very stupid and wrong.  He has planned and prepared for a fight with a bully who previously assaulted him and humiliated him.  She presents the ultimatum of a choice between keeping the appointment for the fight or keeping her.  He sadly says that he cannot make that choice and walks away.

After facing the bully and declining to fight him, Joe comes to Meg to share the news of his choice.  She does not listen, but reacts angrily and violently.  She first gives a two-fisted and forceful thrust to Joe’s chest.  Then she punches toward his face, which he blocks.  He explains how important she is to him and she calms down and all is wonderful.



How many times is this sort of scene portrayed in the movies?  How many times is this encountered in real life?

How many people will be inclined to call the police upon seeing a woman striking a man?  If a man calls the police saying that his wife is pushing him around and hitting him, will they even respond to the call?  If they do, will they arrest the woman or will they bring a straightjacket for the man and take him for a psych evaluation?

How many wives hit their husbands and when confronted act as though they did nothing wrong?

Admittedly, in many cases it is like a flea attacking a dog.  Yet even the tiniest flea can drive a dog crazy.

I have witnessed women acting violently toward men on many occasions, even as they walked down the street or in a shopping mall or parking lot.  I have never seen the police called unless the man responded in similar manner.  In fact, I’ve never seen people intervene in any way unless the man became forceful.  This is especially true in less affluent areas.

How is it that a woman can be abusive to a man without a strong likelihood of being held accountable, but if a person acts abusively to a horse the person is very likely to be charged with a crime?

What actually transpired in the Morrison household is not known publicly.  Yet the reporting certainly reflects this inequitable perception in society.  Moreover, the reported assumptions of the police also seem to reflect this injustice.  The police responded to a reported incident.  Upon their arrival at the home they find two people with injuries.  The man is arrested and charged with multiple crimes.  The woman is presumed to be an innocent victim.

Maybe the police were correct.

Certainly Robert’s love for his wife should have restrained him from acting as he did, whether or not he was provoked by his wife or even if she bloodied his face.  Certainly he should have found a non-violent way to address whatever issues existed between them, even if this meant leaving the issue alone until they both could confront one another calmly and rationally.

And from a Christian perspective, the responsibility does fall upon the husband to act as the head of his family. This means that he will be the one to bear the injustice and unfairness of the situation.  He will be the one to step back and wait patiently for his wife and family to become calm again.  The Lord has placed this upon the man.  He is to be the stronger one who bears all things in love, dealing with the issues from the strength that the Lord gives.

It is amazing how often extremely heated arguments if viewed in retrospect are perceived as arising from very insignificant issues.  Pride and an unwillingness to bear what is perceived to be unfair are usually the main problems.

     And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
(1 Peter 4:8)

Agape kalupsei plethos hamartion. (1 Peter 4:8)

Agape
veils
fullness
of lacking of share in/missed marks

Husband and wife, sharing together in Agape, see not the missed marks of the other, perceive not the short comings of the other, count not any lacking of sharing in the union with the other, for all that they perceive is the Agape.  It is as though the bridal veil is again covering the bride’s face so that she sees her husband through the veil and he sees her through the veil.  Both are viewed with the perfection of the love that binds them together.

When this veil is removed and cast aside or stored away someplace, then they see each other very differently.  Then every fault, every failure, ever shortcoming is viewed and accounted.

In Joe Somebody, when Joe stops Meg from hitting him and pressed beyond her anger to express his love for her, he tells her: “You're what I want.  I don't think there's anything about you that I don't like.”  She responds: “My ears aren't perfectly even.”  Joe responds: “I like that.”

Joe seems not even to have noticed that she tried to hurt him.  He counts no insult from her ridiculous minimization of her faults with the vain remark about her ears.  He sees only the beautiful perfection of his love for her.

This is the way with Agape.  It is a one-sided love.  Agape is of God.  Thus it covers all to whom He gives it so that they begin to see through God’s love for us, which covers all imperfection with God’s perfect love.  This is more than an emotional attachment or infatuation. For those to whom God’s love is poured out in their baptism, God’s love covers them and fills them completely so that their view of the world is changed.  This is because they themselves are changed.

The beginnings of this are experienced even now for those who are baptized into Christ.  In the resurrection they shall experience this in its fullness everlastingly.

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Prudes, Fornicators, Adulterers, Homosexuals,and other Perverts & Sexual Deviants

Each of the categories listed in this title, along with others that are not listed, are forms of idolatry.  In each of these is the false presumption that one can be in control of oneself apart from faith in God, that a person can choose the best way for oneself apart from the design that God has declared to be the true way.  In each of these categories a person trusts not God but oneself for the determination of what is the best perspective concerning human sexuality.  In each of these sexuality is not honored as the truly blessed, pure, holy, and wonderful gift that God has given it to be.

From our warped, corrupted, and perverted, sinful nature, we abuse all of God’s gifts to us, including our own bodies and the life that we are meant to enjoy in connection with our bodies.  Is it any worse to treat one’s body and the functions of one’s body, functions designed by God, as something to be despised, or is it worse to use those functions in ways that mock the very design clearly indicated even from a cursory anatomical observation?  Is it worse to steal the proper use of sexuality through being a prude, or is it worse to steal the proper use of sexuality through fornication or adultery, or perhaps through rape or incest?

All of these are perversions of human sexuality.  All of these are deviations from the obvious design that anyone can easily observe.  Moreover, the proper use of our sexuality has been clearly declared by the Creator.

The Creator also clearly states the purpose for His design.

The first aspect of this purpose is not what a person may first presume.  Procreation and reproduction are not included in the first statement regarding being created male and female, as sexual beings.  The first statement is that this is in accord with the image of God in which they would exist together as one.  Unity in God’s communion is the first stated aspect of being created as we are.  The man was created first.  But man was not complete without woman.  So from the man God took flesh and bone and created woman, to be joined in union with the man as one flesh.  In their God ordained union they were complete.  Together they were man, created in the image of God.  They were designed to be a perfect fit with one another, to unite as one and to continue in that union, in the likeness of God’s union with Man in Christ.

Next stated is the aspect of reproduction and filling the earth with children who would likewise live together in the image of God, that is, Christ.  Together Man would live in communion with God and thus with one another.  They would enjoy together the manifold blessings of the cosmos.  They would fill up the earth with people who would rejoice together in the goodness of the family of God.

And thus also is observed the aspect of family in God’s purpose.  God’s loving providence would be manifested in the family structure.  Unity and love would be demonstrated in everything.  Husband and wife would come together in the union of God’s love and design and children would be produced through God’s blessing of their union together.  These children would be nurtured by their parents in God’s love.  They would grow to become parents themselves.  All of mankind would gather on the Sabbath to be refreshed in the Lord’s communion.  They would enjoy all that it means to be the children of God living under His Fatherly care.

Adam’s willingness to accept the devil’s notion of free will overturned this design.  Now Adam and his wife saw their nakedness and were ashamed.  They no longer were covered and clothed with the image of God, but now stood as mere earthlings, creatures of dust and ash.  The glory of God was no longer theirs.  Now they stood corrupted and exposed in their corruption.  The perfect unity into which they had been joined was disrupted.  The holy relationship of God’s communion was perverted by their deviation from His Word and will.

The farther that people transgress from the Word and will of God, the more deviant their views of themselves and of what is good become.  Even the clear anatomical witness becomes muted by the noise of their corrupted thoughts and opinions and imaginations and fears and insecurities.

But the Lord was not willing to leave His beloved children to wander aimlessly to their peril and destruction.  He came calling for them with the plan of redemption and salvation and restoration that He had for them even from eternity.  He gave the promise of the Savior who would be born of the woman.  He brought that Savior into the world through the virgin Mary.  He established His Church on earth for the preaching of the Gospel and the administration of the Sacraments for the ongoing reconciliation of Man to God in Christ.  In this way the image of God is restored, at first still in connection with our corrupted flesh, but in the Resurrection with flesh that has been changed into incorruptible.

At that time the marital union of male and female will no longer be functional, for the marriage of Christ and His Church shall supercede it.  Those who have been incorporated into the body of Christ shall be truly one with one another in Christ and together they all shall rejoice in God’s Holy Communion forevermore.

Then no more corruption of the human nature and perversion of the human will shall exist.  Even the desire for sexual union will become obsolete, as perfect union with God in Christ shall be enjoyed by all the saints.  True fulfillment shall then be realized by all.

For the current time, however, God still has plans for husbands and wives to be joined through marriage in the unity of the one true faith so that all who are to be born in this world to hear the Gospel and be joined into God’s family shall be.  And so we wrestle with our fleshly desires, created holy but corrupted through unbelief and transgression.  Even though mankind greatly abuses these desires and gifts, God still uses them for good.  Those who recognize this seek to use these wonderful gifts of God and to enjoy them in accord with His good and gracious will.  Thus healthy families are produced and new children are brought into the world to rejoice in God’s goodness.  This is true also for those husbands and wives to whom God reserves life without children of their own, as they nevertheless rejoice in their God given union together in their bodies as well as assembling with those who demonstrate the even greater union of the common confession of the one true faith by which all of mankind is reclaimed as God’s family and restored to the unity of His image once again.

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No longer a child

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

Yesterday I had an experience that brought this passage to my mind. I cut a gash in my leg just above my knee. This gash is not far from one from my youth, when I was teenager. It is about the same size and severity. But when I was a child, this gash was debilitating. It kept me from participating in PE in Junior High School until it was healed. But yesterday, I examined it to see that it was a clean laceration that cut completely through the skin but did no serious damage to other tissue beneath the skin, walked to the truck, acquired my first aid supplies, applied some antibiotic ointment, a bandage, gauze and tape to hold the bandage in place and the wound closed, and finished the day’s work.

Truly a man thinks and acts differently than a child. Part of this comes from the responsibility of adulthood and manhood. A man dare not let the troubles of the world beat him down. He has responsibilities to fulfill. So he presses onward.

I tended the wound more thoroughly when I arrived home. My wife was aghast. This is why I did not tell her of the event when we spoke on the phone. She heard discouragement in my voice and commented on it, but since there was no reason to share the cause with her at that time I waited. I will be out on the job site a bit later again today.

St. Paul used this contrast to make a point regarding a person’s spiritual walk through this world. He used this contrast to demonstrate the difference between what we perceive now and what we will be shown when the Lord brings us to heaven. When we see and know the Triune God face to face, we will understand fully that the many gifts that He has bestowed in this world were insignificant contrasted to the restoration to His Holy Communion. Then all of the struggles and trials of living in this world of sin will fade, as will the many temporal gifts. But the Holy Trinity remains, as God gives Himself to us through His means of grace we receive the everlasting gifts of faith, hope, love, the gifts of the very presence and activity of the Trinity in our lives. When a Christian grows to understand this, spiritual maturity has been reached. No longer is the person impressed by this or that spiritual gift, and much less so with the worldly gifts. Now the person appreciates and relies upon the gift of God Himself, that which remains forevermore.