Discipline and Holy Fear

Parenting is an enormous responsibility and challenge.

On a friend’s Facebook page, she has expressed the frightening experience of having her child hide from her at bath time.  The little boy determined to go outside and hide rather than to join with his little sister for their bath.

Mommy is indeed acting rationally concerning her fear in this regard.  Such disobedience in a child is a frightening thing.  Without a child’s unwavering obedience, no parent is able to provide protection for one’s child.  Obedience is absolutely necessary in the parent and child relationship.  This obedience must be instilled in the child through careful discipline or discipling.  This requires the parent to act very sternly and powerfully, actions that are emotionally difficult to govern with consistency.   But parents are not the child’s peer, nor even buddy.  Parents are the overlords of their children, appointed so by the Father of all, for the good of all.

In the case of my friend, I fear that she may have done as many mommies do.  She very likely has played hide and seek with her young child.  This is a very dangerous game for a parent to play, a game that teaches the child not to obey the voice of the parent when the parent calls.  As fun and innocent as this game and many others may seem, they are not proper for parents in which to engage with their children.  Parenting is an all encompassing responsibility, one which requires the parent to assume the overlord authority at all times, even in play times.

My father understood this, and was often criticized for his wise fatherly actions.  He was not without fault, but he did understand the role of fatherhood and overall was a very good and effective as well as loving father.

I am the firstborn, so my parents were learning much with my arrival under their care.  Two experiences are very powerfully ingrained in my memory.

One is when I was very young, I determined that I would visit Grandpa and Grandma Siems, who lived a quarter mile through the woods.  So off I went, without a thought of my mother’s frantic response.  I climbed onto my little tricycle with its 12 inch drive wheel and 4 inch rear wheels and began to make my way through the sugar sand and palmettos and briars and rattlesnakes to my grandparents’ house.  I do not remember how many hours this took me.

When Mom finally arrived she was frantic.  I do not know whether they called her or even how long I was gone.  Mom was both frantic and furious, as I remember.  But I had not yet been disciplined in the way of informing my mom and asking permission for such ventures.  I remember Grandma coming to my defense till Mom calmed down.  For I had not been deliberately disobedient.  I simply had not yet been properly discipled.  This was a learning experience for us all, and I am sure that I received intense instruction after this, though I don’t really remember that part.

What I do know for certain is that the 4th Commandment, “Thou shalt honor thy father and thy mother that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth.” is deep seated in my personhood.  I also know that this was not driven into me, but was born in me so that it fills me as it flows from the first three commandments.  True fear, love, and trust in God is the beginning of all right understanding for life.  True honor of parents cannot be taught apart from this.  The mechanics of the Fourth Commandment can be effected without fear, love, and trust in God, but not the natural flow of true and genuine honor of parents.

The other experience that I remember, not so much from my own remembrance, but because it was told to me several times, is the time that I encountered a nine foot diamond back rattlesnake as a toddler.  This huge viper was slithering after a covey of quail in the front yard when I saw it and began toddling toward it saying “Pretty snake.  Pretty snake.”

Grandpa and Grandma Heumann, Aunt Esther, and Mom were all yelling “No Paul.  Stop!  Come back!”  When Dad heard the commotion, he came running, and flying out the front door he yelled, “Paul!  HOT!”  Upon hearing this I immediately turned and came back to the safety of my loving overlords.

Some time previously, Dad had astonished the rest of the family by teaching me to fear the electric stove.  He placed his hand on the burner, turned the knob to warm and waited for it to become uncomfortable, took my little hand and placed it on the burner crying, “HOT!”  The others thought this to be terrible, but he wanted his little boy to be safe.  He wanted his little boy to stay away from anything that was declared to be HOT.

I share this to demonstrate that true love does not always bear the outward appearance that people expect.  True love sometimes appears hard and harsh and intolerant.  True parenting requires wisdom in knowing what true love demands.

The best way for parents to learn this is to observe the one who Himself is Love, the Father of all.  He has provided for us a written accounting of His interaction with His children.  He has given us this so that we may know Him as our loving Father, and so that we may learn from Him the form that true love takes.

We have the complication of our sinfulness that interferes with this understanding and blurs our perspective.  Thus we always must hold our actions to the accounting of the Commandments, by which we see where we fall short and need to have our ways amended.  But even the Commandments fall short in that they only show us what should be, as they show us how God is as the one who is truly holy and righteous.  The Commandments cannot be taken as stand alone directives.  They must be understood in the light of the Gospel, which shows how God gives the Commandments for our instruction, but also shows that He is the one who fulfills all righteousness for us.  He does not demand that we make ourselves righteous through striving to obey the Commandments.  Rather, He makes us righteous as He joins us to the merits of Jesus, who has fulfilled all righteousness on our behalf.  He applies this to us through Baptism and the Holy Supper.  There we encounter His righteousness and are made to be partakers of Him and His righteousness.

This is what parents need to realize about the responsibilities that God has given to them.  They are to do similarly to their loving Father.  They are to live the sanctified life of their baptism so that their children receive this as their own.  As the parents fear, love, and trust in God and live lives that flow from this, so their children do also.  They learn God’s love through the loving actions and lordship of their parents.


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Who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

Does anyone really take the Lord Jesus’ answer to this question seriously? Why do the disciples even ask this question? Do the people who confess to believe the words recorded in the Bible really believe what the Lord Jesus teaches here?

At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! (Matthew 18:1-7)

We, especially pastors, need to hear what the Lord Jesus sets before us in this example. Why pastors especially? Because pastors are specifically those whom Christ calls to do the receiving of the little ones.

Matthew records that the Lord Jesus answered this question for His disciples. Why? They are the ones whom He was preparing to do the work of receiving into His kingdom those whom He purchased with His lifeblood.

When we consider the question, to whom do our thoughts turn? Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? Of whom do you begin thinking? It really is ridiculous that we should have to think at all! The King is the greatest in the kingdom! The point is not for us to consider who among us is the greatest. The point is to realize that it is none of us. That is why the Lord Jesus says that whosoever shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Who did this? He did! He alone humbled himself. This is why He says of all of the rest of us, “Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.” We all have to be converted, regenerated through water and Spirit to be brought into the kingdom of heaven. We have to be made to be humbled, to be made into the image of God again, the God who humbled Himself to be born as the little baby whom the world counted as nothing. But the Magi, who had been humbled by the Spirit to believe the Word, followed the star and bowed down to this little beggarly baby in the feed trough. The humble shepherds, also, humbled still further by the words of the angels, came and worshiped the baby Jesus.

“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

The word for offend is skandalise. It means to ensnare or trap or cause to stumble. The Lord Jesus warns very strongly against doing this. Moreover, He does not distinguish between doing so intentionally or unintentionally. Good intentions do not matter. Clever rationalizations and justifications do not excuse. Such only perpetuate the scandal. Such only propagate further hypocrisy and stumbling.

How is this demonstrated in the life of those professing to be the Church? In the next chapter Matthew records:

Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven. And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence. (Matthew 19:13-15)

This text is oft used as a proof text for those who teach that the Lord commands that the babies be baptized, too. They are absolutely correct. Baptism is the means that the Lord Jesus has given by which all sinners are to be regenerated into the kingdom of God, into the body of Christ. To such as these belongs the kingdom of heaven.

Now if the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these, and this text teaches that they must not be denied Baptism as the means that Christ has given for their entrance into the kingdom, how then is it not also understood and taught that these little ones are to be recipients of the blessings given within that kingdom? How is it that partaking of the unity of the Lord’s body and partaking of the life of His blood is denied them? How is it that they are counted as unworthy of partaking of the Supper of the life of Christ’s Church?

Suffer the little children to come unto me. How do they come to Jesus so that He may commune with them? On the day that Jesus rebuked His disciples, they were being carried into His presence to have Him touch them and pray for them. How does He promise to do this after His resurrection and ascension? For what did St. Paul rebuke the Corinthians in regard to the Supper, saying that they were not even eating the Lord’s Supper? They were treating some of the members of Christ’s body differently than others. They were going forward and eating without including the rest of the members of the congregation. They did this because they did not treat seriously the purpose of the Supper. They did not rightly discern the body of Christ.

So what does this say of pastors and congregations who allow the children to be baptized into the household of God and then refuse to allow them to partake of that which Christ has commanded for the nourishment of the children of the kingdom? What does this say of those who forbid the little children from obeying Christ’s command to eat and drink? What does this say of the many children who are trained up to disobey Christ’s command to be one and to rely upon the Sacrament for their life in Him?

Are there enough millstones today? Do we need more? How does this really apply?

Consider what Christ says:

“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Where do Christ and His apostles teach that it is good for sinners to be drowned? Is Baptism not where this takes place? Should pastors and congregations not be returning to the waters of their baptism, confessing this great sin and receiving absolution so that they rise up in this repentance to sin no more?

Or should they continue making excuses, relying upon their sinful human reason rather than the clear words of Christ and His apostles? How long will they preach grace and deny the means by which Christ says that it is given? How long will they insist that God’s grace in the Sacrament is conditional? How long will they teach the children that salvation is by grace, but not once you are actually in the kingdom, that once you are in the kingdom you must make yourself worthy of the Sacrament of the kingdom? How long will they tell those to whom the kingdom belongs that they must sit in the corner until they are worthy to partake of the means by which they are to be nurtured and fed and made strong in the Lord? How long must the little ones to whom the kingdom belongs go hungry or be satisfied with only spiritual milk, if such compromised doctrine can even be called that? How long will pastors forbid the children from partaking of the Lord’s Table of forgiveness and grace and communion, and then wonder why when the children become adults that they rely upon their own prayers and other works rather than upon the means of grace? Who is teaching this to them? Who is causing them to stumble?