Terrible Grief

Grief can be truly terrible, even terrifying.

The Newtown tragedy continues to be prevalent in the news and in the minds of all who hear it.

Yesterday as I was taking care of things that needed to be done, I realized that I am affected even more powerfully than I realized by this event, or rather, by the reminder of how vulnerable I am.

My own death is not very frightening to me contrasted to the devastation that I would face upon the loss of my wife.  If someone broke into the government school where she works and ripped her out of my life through a murderous and senseless act, I would have nothing left in this world.  I would be bereft of the only worldly possession of real value to me, save one.

There is one worldly possession that is even greater for me than my wife.  It is the one possession that would preserve my sanity and hope.  It is my knowledge of God’s love to me that is poured out freely through His means of grace.

My wife and I have talked many times about this.  We both share the great concern that if anything happened to the other, we would be left with no one locally with whom we could gather to receive the unadulterated Sacrament of forgiveness and life.  Whichever of us survived the other would have to move, or settle for periodic travel to our friends who likewise gather to the pure Word and Sacrament.

This very likely sounds foreign to most who read this.  We live in a city with nine LC-MS and one WELS congregations, and yet we have no place where we can safely worship.  This is because we believe that to join with congregations who pledge themselves to compromised worship and practice and definition of communion/fellowship is to have our souls raped and molested.  We believe that we need to receive only the absolutely pure means of grace.  Otherwise we will be filled with the world’s pollution that corrupts and kills.

Thus our marriage and union is absolutely vital to us.  We truly need each other and we do not know how to live without each other.

Again, I read yet another account of the Newtown tragedy: Investigators visit Conn. gun shops and ranges as townspeople seek comfort in faith.  This account made clear a fact that I suspected to be the case. Adam Lanza was the child of a broken marriage.  He was a young man bearing the scars of his parents’ divorce.

We have degenerated into a society where this is counted as the norm.  Great efforts have been exerted to reeducate and retrain the people to consider divorce as an acceptable and even a normal occurrence.  Today one is more likely to encounter children who have experienced the divorce of their parents, than children whose parents remained steadfastly together for as long as they both should live.

Both I and my wife have been blessed to know marriage as a lifetime contract.  Our parents remained together until our fathers died.  Both of us knew that our parents would be home for us.  They were our refuge in the Lord.  We knew that when Daddy left the house that he would gladly and lovingly return home again.  We knew that Mommy would be there for us, too.  No matter how badly an argument raged, we knew that forgiveness and reconciliation would prevail in the end.  This we knew.  This we believed.  This was factual.  The foundation stone of our security, the marriage of our parents that the Lord had instituted and blessed, would stand for us.  We knew the meaning of home.  This is an extension of knowing the everlasting home that God has for us.

But we both have friends who were not so blessed.  We even have family members who have abandoned this so that they divorced.  They broke their contract with each other.  They broke the confidence of their children. And we have seen the effects and affects upon all who have suffered this.

Our society tries to minimize this.  But we continue to see the effects.  We see the confusion of identity.  We see the increase of instability.  We hear the cries of loneliness.  We observe the suicides.  We mourn the many aborted children.  We tremble at the random acts of violence.

Is there any advantage to closing our eyes to what we see and our ears to what we hear?  Is there any real benefit to giving our blessing to the destruction caused by divorce?

How many churches and pastors today really count divorce for what it is?  How many actually still preach divorce as sin from which people need to be saved?  How many still count this as a cause for repentance?  How many still urge forgiveness as the only answer?

How many children of divorces are told that they need to accept this horrible molestation and rape as OK and to get over it?  How can such children be confident of anything when this is what they are told?  How can they know what to trust as true and reliable?  How are they to know love as more than a fickle emotion, as a fact that does not fail?

This is why we dare not allow the means of grace also to be compromised.  This is why we dare not call anything but the gathering to the pure means of grace as God’s Church on earth, His holy family.  For if we allow the worship, the communion, the means of our certainty to be compromised, we have nothing in which to trust.

For those whose parents turn to divorce for their answer to their failures and problems, God’s Church remains true.  Where those called together by the Holy Spirit continue in the purity of the Word and Sacraments, there they may rest securely without doubt or fear.  There God is truly present for them.  There the marriage of God with His bride is manifest for all to observe.  His children rejoice in their security.  This is the way when the Gospel is preached purely and the Sacraments are administered as they have been ordained.  This is the way when the worship reflects this in its entirety.

Is this not comforting news?  God does not believe in divorce, except with regard to our sin.  He says that He divorces us from our sin so that we may be united with Him in His Church.  He has given us Baptism as the means by which we are regenerated or reborn into His family.  He has given His Holy Supper to nourish us and keep us alive in His family through the one true faith. All of this is His gift, His gracious doing for us, as our loving Father.  Through this He causes us to know ourselves as He knows us, as His beloved children.  He never forsakes His children.  He never leaves them to find their own way.  For this reason He demands that His pastors never compromise the Word and the life of the holy family, which life we know as worship and communion.

All other families can be broken.  But God’s family is forever.  People do fall away and forget God’s everlasting promises and love, but God does not forget.  People do look elsewhere and become lost, but God continues to call each one through the continuing existence and life of His Church on earth.  Each and every living person is free to return, even more than free, but continually called by our Heavenly Father.  His bride, His family, stands ready to receive each one eagerly.  The Lord declares that the heavenly hosts rejoice when even one sinner is caused to repent and to return home.

This blessed Advent season beckons to us all to hear this and to believe it.  The Christmas season teaches us how far the Lord is willing to go to call us back again to His loving care.  The Epiphany season teaches us how far the call of His Gospel reaches.  Each season of the Church year serves us in these ways.

We are not left alone.  We have not been abandoned.  We are not orphans without hope of reconciliation and reunion with our everlasting family.  Our God comes for us.  He calls to us.  He gives Himself for us.  Like with the shepherds out in the fields with their flocks that very special night, God sends His message through angels, the pastors and the saints who abide in Him and His communion, to call us to respond, saying like the shepherds, “Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.”

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So Much Hurt

Everywhere I turn it seems that I encounter more hurt, both in what I observe in the lives of others as well as in my own life. Hurt, hurt, hurt!

Perhaps the saddest part of this is to realize just how much of the hurt that we encounter and endure is actually the result of our own choices.

This is why the Lord has given us His commandments. His commandments have a threefold purpose.

First they show us what our heavenly Father is like and what He has planned for us. The Commandments teach us His goodness and providence and love. Thus, they show us how we are supposed to be.

But then the Commandments, in showing us the perfection and holiness of our heavenly Father, they simultaneously show us our sinfulness. While showing us the perfection of God and His will, they also show us how we fall short, miserably and horribly short. We do not truly even come close to measuring up. And so the Commandments drive us to despair of our own efforts at goodness so that we fall to our knees and confess our sinfulness and look up to our perfect and holy and loving and merciful Father to hear His holy absolution.

Then also, the Commandments serve as a curb to thwart evil doers. We fear getting caught and punished and so, even though we may not fear and love and trust in God above all things and even though we many not truly want to please Him, nevertheless, we fear the consequences of getting caught. And so a degree of civil goodness is produced, even among unruly and ungodly people. For all government mimics God’s holy commandments, even if they do not realize it.

The hurts that we suffer are all ultimately on account of sin in the world. Our hurts serve us, if we are willing to hear it and believe it. Our hurts continually remind us of our need for the restoration that God works in us through the faith that accompanies the gift of the Holy Spirit in Baptism. Through this faith God restores to us the knowledge of His mercy and love so that we look beyond our hurts to the love of God in Christ. In Christ we experience true relief from our hurts. In Christ we are made to know the holiness of God again, and we hear Him declare this holiness to be ours once again. Even though we do not merit this declaration by what we do, nevertheless, for Christ’s sake, God declares us to be holy. He declares us to be righteous not with our own righteousness, but with His. And His righteousness has no flaws. He declares us to be His beloved children who may freely come to Him in every situation and be received by Him and embraced by Him in His Holy Communion.

When this is where our hurts cause us to turn, everything is made right again. Then our hurts turn to rejoicing and thanksgiving and our hearts are merry and full of Life!


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Were You There

“Were you there when they crucified my Lord?”

Thus go the lyrics of a Negro spiritual that many have come to accept as a song of remembrance of the Lord’s suffering and death. I never understood it. I always thought it was a silly song based upon emotionalism. Even though I do not remember my pastors ever addressing this issue, even though they permitted this song to be sung in the divine service, even as a child I was uncomfortable with what I perceived as the focus of the song.

I’ve tried researching it, and what information I have found seems to confirm that the focus is awry. As a child I always heard a sense of blaming in the song. I always heard a sense of “Oh, how terrible that they would do this to the Lord Jesus!” From what I have been able to determine, this is at least a part of what is meant in this song, but more to the point is the expression of thinking of oneself as persecuted and abused and looking to what was done to Jesus in a “poor me, poor us” kind of relationship. It seems to be in the line of “misery loves company” sort of perspective with a bit of “Oh how I love Jesus” mixed in.

The lyrics of the song as it is included in the LC-MS hymnal, Lutheran Worship, can be viewed here. The tune can be heard and three stanzas viewed here. Some information regarding the origins of the “spirituals” is available here and here. Other sources are available as well.

As I reflected upon this song this season of Lent and in the entrance into the season of Easter, I thought about the answer to the question, “Were you there when they crucified my Lord?” The answer is, “Yes! I was most certainly there.”

I did not nail Jesus to the tree. I did not beat him or spit upon Him. I did not lay Him in the tomb. I did not stand there crying, either. But I was there. For Jesus took my complete identity as Sinner. He took my name of condemnation and disgrace. He took my guilt and shame. He took my punishment. He cried out in my place of feeling as forsaken by God. Oh yes! I was truly there.

I have been crucified with Jesus through Baptism. In the person of Jesus, I was crucified, dead and buried. And again in connection with Baptism I rose again the Third Day unto new life in Christ. I now walk in the newness of that life that is in Him. I partake of His body and blood and am renewed in Him regularly.

What appears to be the basic premise of this song is weak and shallow at best. Nevertheless, with the right understanding, the question is one worthy of answering with the answer that God Himself proclaims in the divine liturgy. The answer is not one of “Oh, how sad that this was done to Jesus and how sad that I must suffer many things in this world.” but of “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honour, and glory, and blessing.” (Rev 5:12) And again, “Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.” (Rev 5:13)

Amen!

September 12

Nine Twelve, the day after Nine Eleven.

Sorrow, Grief, is powerful.

For some reason, certain kinds of loss are often perceived as more tragic than others. The death of a child is often perceived as more terrible than the loss of an older adult. Death of loved ones by seemingly unexplainable tragedy often is perceived as more terrible than death by what commonly is called “natural causes.”

Yet death is death. Loss is loss. The terror or terribleness of death and loss is the same for all who experience it. No one can make the terribleness less. No one can make the pain less significant or powerful.

The only way to deal with the pain and terribleness of loss is to conquer it.

But this is beyond our capacity. We do not have the power to conquer pain, misery, tragedy, and death. No matter how hard we try, we cannot overpower the pain. No matter what attempts we make, we cannot set the memories aside. No matter what we seek to fill the void, we still remember the loss.

This is why St. Paul writes:

But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. (1Thessalonians 4:13)

And what hope does St. Paul hold for his brethren?

For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words. (1Thessalonians 4:14-18)

The means by which grief is overcome is the faith that the Holy Spirit works, faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus. For those who believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus know that He has conquered death for the sake of all who will live in Him through faith. The comfort that overpowers grief has two parts, or better stated, two applications. First, the comfort is applied to the believer, so that the believer knows that his own life is kept safe in Jesus. Secondly, then, the comfort is that this safe keeping is for all who are in Jesus. No one who trusts in the death and resurrection of Jesus will be disappointed.

With this knowledge that is supplied by Faith, the believer does not grieve as those who have no hope. For Jesus is our hope. In Jesus we know that we are safe and that no tragedy and no loss can ever take that safety away from us.

This assurance and comfort is so strong that it even enables the believer to let go of the fear of never seeing a loved one again. Even when the loved one was not a believer, the communion that God provides for the believer is stronger. In Jesus, the believer finds that even the thought of never seeing a loved one again is overcome by the peace that surpasses all understanding. This is the knowledge that the Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. This is the knowledge that God is good and will not abandon us to our grief but will supply us with the strength that we need to continue onward in His mercy and love.

Job was given no explanation for the series of tragedies that took every worldly thing from him. All of his treasures, even the greatest of his treasures, his ten children, were taken from him. In response to all of his terrible losses, what was Job’s response?

Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped, And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD. (Job 1:20-21)

Even that old standby saying, “If a person has his health, he has everything” failed him because the Lord granted Satan the power to rob Job even of his health. Yet as he sat in a pile of ashes scraping his sores with a piece of broken pottery he declared that it is right that a person should receive both what is perceived as good and what is perceived as evil from the Lord. By this Job acknowledged that the will of the Lord is good, even though we do not understand it, even when the things that happen are evil according to our best understanding. In truth, what Satan did to Job was evil, flowing from the darkness of the evil in Satan’s being. Nevertheless, the Lord’s will in all this was good, and Job trusted the will of the Lord.

How many people since the days of Job have found comfort in the faith that the Lord gave to him, faith that carried him through even the worst of tragedies, the tragedy of feeling doubt and despair? We have trouble relating to the strength that Job’s faith produced. But when Job finally broke down and began to complain against the Lord, this we understand fully. But even Job’s doubts and complaints were not big enough to destroy him. Not because Job believed so strongly, for by this time his personal faith was just a glimmer. No, Jesus was his strength. The death and resurrection of Jesus is what carried Job forward. The Lord did not abandon Job, even when Job’s personal faith failed him. The Lord came to Job and comforted him by confronting him with his own sinful weakness and then reminding Job of the Lord’s mercy which endures forever. Confession and absolution was the answer that Job needed and that God supplied.

So what is the point of all this?

Six years after the Nine Eleven tragedy some people still feel crushed and decimated by their sorrows and losses. Many still came to the site of the tragedy looking for solace through remembering the ones who were taken from them.

This is not where they will find comfort and peace. Seeking peace in the memory of those who are lost to them has no power except to bind them to their sense of loss. The memory that will set them free is the Lord’s memory, which He has toward those for whom He sacrificed all. It is to His remembrance of His love that we are to turn for our hope. Yes, He even commands it for our well-being, saying, “This do as oft as you drink of it, into My remembrance.” The Lord does not forget. He knows our needs. He gives Himself to us to supply us with those needs of body and soul. He remembers and He calls us to the table of His remembrance. There He remembers His beloved and they are caused to remember that He remembers. There He calls us to be joined with Him into His remembrance. There we find the peace that the world cannot give, His peace that surpasses all understanding.

Today is Nine Twelve. It is a day to remember that the Lord is good and His mercy endures forever. We treasure the memories of those with whom God has blessed us, but they belong to Him even as we do. Let us continue in the peace of His remembrance.

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